Crushes
by Jazz's lil ninja
Summary: You know that innocent question that can start of another war... well hit the deck guys cause someones gonna blow! Laugh at the bots failed attempt to understand humans once more!
1. Chapter 1

**Heyy guys so heres the gang again back with one of their funny mishaps. Dont worry I will update my other stories soon! Still dont own Transformers except Soph who is obviously in this :) Anyway onward!**

It was just one of those innocent questions that ended up starting world war three between a certain couple, said couple were now having to be kept separate so they didn't harm eachother, at least until they calmed down.

Jazz pondered back over the last half an hour and wondered how the subject had even been brought up.

30 Minutes Earlier

Soph, Sides, Jazz, Sunny, Bluey, Lennox and Epps had innocently been sat outside not doing a lot but hey they were allowed to chill sometimes.

Anyway Miles had come bounding out of one of the hangers, being one of the rare occasions that he wasn't joined to the hip with Sam, he was lonely and was simply curious about if they did or not.

"Hey guys" he yelled over to them the bots looked down to make sure they wouldn't lean on him if he came near their hands as they were leant back on their servos, while the two men waved him over.

"What up Miles?" Lennox looked questioningly at his best friends attempt at copying the Pontiac twins gangster language, Epps just shrugged and high fived the twins who were slightly impressed.

"I was just wondering..." he started looking up at the Cybertronians who looked back with interest "if they had crushes?" the bots looked confused by this so Lennox explained for their benefit and his sanity.

"Basically even though your say married or in a relationship, it's an unwritten rule that your allowed to have a crush on someone of the same gender as you are... like mines Josh Duhamel and Epps's Tyrese Gibson"

"No it ain't!"

"Then why have you got a massive poster of him in your room?" that shut Epps up, Lennox looked up to see if the bots understood "But... you're not allowed to say your partner so Jazz can't say Prowl" the bots nodded understanding.

"So would ah 'ave ta say two then?" Soph asked due to being half and half confused her sometimes.

"Yep so will you guys tell us yours then" Miles answered as the bots shared a look and nodded.

"Cool umm... Jazz you can go first." Epps said getting over his sulk

"Well mine would 'ave ta be Darius Mccrary" Jazz stated proudly.

"No' bad meh go!" Soph thought for a moment "Jazz's lil ninja 'nd Jolt" Sideswipe whipped round at her.

"Jolt really?"

"Yeperz ah can' say ya can ah dumbaft!"

"Don't call me dumbaft!"

"Shu' up et's your go" the couple bickered; everyone shared a look as Sides glared at the ninja who ignored him.

"Fine then mines Bill Mitchell" the silver frontliner said smugly looking at his partner who was currently googling it, Sideswipes optics darken and it became apparent that the pair were arguing again especially when Soph smashed Sides one in the helm.

"Um... yeah Sunny ya go" the saboteur stated as he watched his sister hit her mate again.

"Mine would have to be Corey Burton" Sunny replied after thinking hard about it for a moment.

"Cool Bluey your go" Miles cheered, the youngest Datsun looked around wide eyed before thinking.

"Mine is you Jazz" he said quietly, everyone looked at the young Praxian.

Even Sunstreaker looked surprised, Bluey looked up at his golden partner "You're not mad are you?" he asked and vented in relief when Sunny shook his head and gave him a hug which the young bot gladly excepted.

Jazz seemed to be on the verge of pulling a Prowl but when Soph gave him a back handed wack he can to and was quite pleased he had a follower "Well atleas' ah 'ave a back up option if Prowler goes!" Bluestreak smiled nervously as Sunstreaker glared at him and the saboteur held his servos up in defence.

"See why can' ya be like 'im! Man ah bonded da wrong twin" Soph huffed as Sides glared at her and growled while she retaliated by sticking her glossa at him.

While the pair argued again, Jazz and Sunny face planted as suddenly two wrenches collided with the back of the mate's helms causing them to stop mid sentence to rub the dents they now sported.

"Well that shut you two slaggers up now what were they moaning about?" the voices owner appeared from the shadows.

Jazz looked over at the old medic and explained "Miles asked a question, Soph answered, Sides didn' like et 'nd 'ere we are... so whose ya mech crush then doc bo'?"

Ratchet looked at the saboteur like he had gone crazy but answered anyway "It would be Michael Bay" that alone made everyone freeze.

Soph glomped Jazz and Sides did the same to Sunny and Bluey, if that's even possible, at what Ratchet had said.

"What" he looked at all their face plates, Soph had her say-it-again-and-ill-hurt-you look while she growled at the medic "unlike you lot he hasn't hurt me...yet" and with that he walked off.

"Okay... that was just weird" Lennox looked between Epps and the bots "Anyway Miles whose your crush?"

Said boy saw the inquisitive looks shot his way "I thought mine was obvious it's Sam!" he yelled as he ran off.

The two army personnel shared a confused look before turning to see wheels heading there way, using all there training they quickly rolled out of the way.

Jazz and Bluey hurled the very pissed off ninja off of her annoyed mate, while Sunny struggled with his brother, who eventually saw sense and stormed off one way as Soph turned on her heel and went the opposite way.

With both the brothers tailing their sibling, Bluey was left in the middle trying to decide who to follow, the poor mech looked like he was watching a game of tennis looking back and forth between the groups.

The Praxian stopped, shrugged before running off after Smokescreen who had just wondered past, leaving the two humans laughing at what had happened.

"Do you think they'll be alive tomorrow?" Epps asked as they wondered back.

Lennox shook his head "I doubt it if they fight like they do in the field then there both as screwed as the other..." he thought for a moment, as Epps face planted at his friends next comment

"Who's Jolt?"

**If anyones got any ideas for any one shots or short stories PM me and I'll see what I can do! XD**

**R&R no flames XD Peace out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys I had a request to do Optimus and Ironhide and then the plot bunnies can into it so hope you enjoy this part! XD Dont own nothing except Soph!**

The next morning the medbay was full of groaning bots and humans, for once Ratchet was among them and Jolt was the one dishing out the painkillers.

Epps looked up at the smirking 5 who were all leant against the wall "So care to explain how this all came to happen" he gestured at everyone lying on the berths.

"Yeah ah thin' we can" The ninja replied smugly from her place in Sideswipes servos.

After the "Jolt" incident

"So now you guys know what their arguing about whose your mech crushes then?" Lennox asked as he had just finished explaining about why Sides had punched Jolt and was currently in the brig and also why Soph had gone off sulking.

Little did anyone currently in the room know what they were walking into.

Optimus and Ironhide looked at eachother before nodding "Yes we can tell you who ours are I suppose" and with that the great and noble Optimus Prime and trigger happy weapon specialist quickly yet obviously pointed at one another before leaving the room.

"Ummm..." was the only sound made in the room as they watched the two bots walk from the room.

But what no one expected next was the sounds that followed; a loud door slam could be heard but the next ones...

Most of the bots nearly crashed on the spot as sounds of two bots making out filled the rec. room, curious and hoping it wasn't as they thought bots and humans alike adventured out to see what perils were lurking.

They all looked out into the hallway and Jazz being the saboteur crept out and slipped over to the door, if there had been a window he would have looked in but as there wasn't he listened in, and crashed almost immediately.

Everyone stared at the downed saboteur, then towards the door and one after the other they all walked quietly towards it as they all listened in one by one they all faltered and collapsed.

Said door in question slowly opened and a pair of mischievous optics and visor looked out cackling to together they came fully into the corridor followed closely by a small human boy "Guys their all down!" Sides yelled happily another prank successfully pulled off, as he hugged his fech who was kicking her brother for some reason.

Two deep rumbles of laughter were heard before Optimus and Ironhide appeared from behind another door "Now I see why you enjoy these pranks so much kid" Hide stated as he let out another bark of laughter when he saw all the downed mechs and two humans.

:Jolt plan complete we kinda of need your medicalness now though:

:They all down then double-O Soph:

:Double-O Soph hey I like that! Yep even got Ratchet:

The blue trainee arrived shortly after "Wow you guys did a good job"

"Thanks kid wanna pull another one some time we make a great team?" The silver mech asked making each one of the conscious bots groan.

_ Random liney thing _

"So this was all a big prank" Ratchet yelled from his berth in the far corner.

Optimus looked up at his old friend "Yes and I must admit it was brilliant fun" he smirked as he dodged a flying wrench.

"I gotta admit it was good but how did ya pull it off and I swear Soph and Sides ya hated each other?" Epps questioned while the ninja bot looked up at her partner with a smile who looked down before planting a kiss on her helm making the younger bots cringe.

"Lets start from the beginning..." Sides said and began to explain

_Another line_

"Babe et's like da perfect time ta pull a mass prank, everyones in a good mood!" Soph bounded into their quarters excitedly.

Soph in a mood like this usually ended with a prank and not one that ended badly oh no hers tended to work on that rare occasion where she would join in on one they tended to actually succeed.

Sideswipe looked up from where him and Miles had just been plotting a prank, before the silver wheeled bot could answer the human spoke up "I've got one that could take down most of the group" he whispered.

"We're listenin'" was the reply he got.

10 minutes later

"So basically all you need to do Ironhide is ask whys Sideswipe in the brig one of them will answer then there explain, then someone will probably ask you both whose your mech crush and to answer you point to eachother, so to finish you walk out of the room and tap quietly on the door opposite and go into the room next door, slam it by the way, and wait till we call you out" Miles finished in one breath.

Hide nodded "Sounds simple what happens afterwards?"

Soph grinned "Me and Sides make out while Miles plays a recording to make it sound like it's you two"

Optimus went to speak "... actually I don't want to know" after thinking it through.

"Sweet so don't worry we'll give you the signal but just stay in here until one of us comes back" with that all three pegged it out.

The two bots shared a look "Why don't I have a bad feelin' about this?"

Prime chuckled "Because old friend its planned down to the letter by our top prankster bot and seemingly human one as well and our own head of special ops." the black mech just groaned at the explanation.

Back to normal time

"So tha's when meh 'nd Sides can 'nd joined ya lo' ou'side 'nd Miles came ou'" Soph finished.

"Okay... bu' when did ya ge' Jolt involved?" the saboteur asked trying to figure it all out.

Back to before

"Fine then mines Bill Mitchell" the silver frontliner said smugly looking at his partner who was currently googling it, Sideswipes optics darken and it became apparent that the pair were arguing again especially when Soph smashed Sides one in the helm.

: Do you think they brought it?:

:Totally hit me again Ow! Nice one yep they've brought it:

:Ha Jazz's face lol BLACKMAIL!:

: Totally wait have you told Jolt yet:

: No I'll add him... Jolt you there?:

:Yep I'm here what'd ya need:

:Sides you explain:

: Okay basically we're doing this prank and Prime and Hide are in on it to.:

: Start at the beginning aft:

: Oh yeah basically Miles asked us a question "Who's your mech crush" and when Soph answered she said you:

:By the way it's true love ya Jolt:

:Thanks Ninja love ya two Sides ya gonna kill me:

:Nope but I've faked my anger but in a minute I will have to come and hit you but I'll try and do it nicely... one minute I need to glomp Sunny and Sides:

A minute later

:That fragging medic:

:Soph chill we'll get him back with this Jolt ya still there:

:Yeh what happened?:

:Ratchet:

:Oh... so your hit me then what happens:

: Ratchet should hopefully brig me then Hide is gonna ask about why I did:

:And while this is all going on being the amazing spy I am I'm gonna go and get him out of the brig and sneak into the room opposite the rec. room after we collect Miles from our rendezvous point who's gonna have a recording I made of Ironhide saying Optimus's name and vice-versa:

:Cool so how you gonna make it sound like their making out which is what I'm assuming your going for:

:Yep well me and Soph will be doing the whole making out part while he plays the tape:

:Got it:

:Good Sides storm off in 3..2..1:

Jolt waited for about 5 minutes in that time Ratchet had come back and was telling the young medic about the whole conversation when Sideswipe burst in looking very convincingly pissed off, he gave the young medic a look.

Jolt gave a slight nod before instantly turning all his pain receptors off, the blue Chevy felt the impact of the fist but not the pain and it wasn't until he had rolled over on the floor that he saw Ratchet and Sunstreaker pulling the warrior away to the brig that he caught the small smile on the frontliners face plates.

Shaking his helm Jolt got back up to inspect the damage, luckily enough he had only left a scratch.

As the shouts of the silver mechs protested and threats died down, he heard more footsteps heading his way.

He turned to the door as Soph skidded to a halt trying to look concerned as Jazz appeared behind her "Omg omg omg Jolt ya alrigh' mech" she bounded in and grabbed the medic in a hug before he had chance to react.

"Yeah I'm fine Soph he didn't do much only a scratch" he managed to splutter out from under her servos.

She smiled down and released the trainee when she realised she was smothering him "Heyy Jazz go back ta da rec. room ah'll be down in a min ah jus' need ta talk ta 'im" with that the silver saboteur disappeared.

"Righ' first ge' Op then Sides ah'll comm. ya la'er" she said quietly as she ran off.

Soph bounded in to Optimus's office and the bots were where she had left them "Ya goes don' frag et up" with that she slid back out of the room.

"Why is she your third in command" Hide grumbled as they entered the rec. room for their turn.

Sideswipe waited impatiently for the ninja to appear, Soph who was running at full speed as she flew into the brig a bit too fast as she found when she met the opposite wall.

"Ow!"

"That hurt?" Sides smirked when she rolled over and gave him a look "Can ya let me out and then moan?"

With that she was thumping in the over ride code to let him out, the door flipped open and the mech wheeled out, he reached out and grabbed his fech and spun her round "Now do ya want me to look at your... injuries?" he purred as he looked her over.

"Why don' we wai' til we're in our place with meh back against da door, no place ta go..." she added seductively, she walked out the door with Sideswipe trailed behind gapping after her.

They sprinted down the corridor as they past Miles they grabbed him before all three slipped into the room opposite just as Hide and Prime were doing their bit.

Miles positioned on the table, waited for the signal from Soph who was as she had said stuck against the door by Sides, she picked up the knock from Prime as they past and pulled the mech in and Miles played the tape.

"_Optimus"_

"_Ironhide"_

"_More"_

"_Of course"_

Neither mech nor fech could hear the tape as they blocked out the voices, even though it was harder to block the sniggering boy in the back ground.

The ninja sensed Jazz right behind her so up the volume slightly as Sideswipe carried on seemingly trying to eat her face plates, she laughed inwardly at that thought, Sides obviously felt her humour and enquired but she ignored it as she heard Jazz thump to the floor.

She didn't expect all of them to sneak over at once and one by one fall as the thumps were hard to miss, both kissing once more before Sides backed away to allow her to open the door.

"And here we are!" Jolt exclaimed happily.

Ratchet huffed in the corner "Just don't get used to owning MY medbay I'll be back soon" everyone looked over at the medic as he passed out again, and stood behind him was Sides, smirking widely as Soph and Jolt hung their helms as they laughed

"Jolt I owe ya one, ya can own the medbay for a few more days!"

**Lol Sideswipe might be dead after that stunt but we shall see R&R to make the gang happy!**


End file.
